Still wondering what a blog is.
Having the sudden urge, oh the rush feels so good.
It's like the police is after you, but worst. It's like getting beaten, but worst.
It's like butterflies in your stomach but worst.
It's like having drugs or chocolate, BUT WORST.
It's always worst.
Oh my Lord, what have I done! Misery. Catastrophe.
I didn't go to work today. Apparently Maria wasn't even supposed to work. Yet I got called in the day before. It's okay, I understand and I was lenient. So I thought I'd go home.
But I figured it would be best to stay and look around to find something cute for SUMMER.
This stimulated the release of a SHOPPING hormone, that practically drove my sanity aside.
Basically, I went fucking crazy with shopping today. And it felt good. YET afterwards, I feel like SHIT! Oh, I went from store to store, getting all sorts of different shit. My debit card is pretty much scratched.
3/4 of my hard earned pay cheque.. actually more like 6/8 of my pay cheque was spent on clothes, and nothing but the clothes. One wasn't even for Summer. It was a $40 dollar leather jacket with my employee discount in it.
My day went "down the drain" today. Maybe it was because Tanin didn't text me back. I mean I truly don't expect him to text me back "24/7", but I'm still worried about that thing, and he wouldn't give me closure/assurance. So I get fidgety and nervous. Now that I've released all that tension, it felt good. I can tell this is only the beginning. I spent over $100-150 today. Merely on clothes. Oh my God please help me.
If cocaine was for drug addicts, chocolate for fatties/emos/people, SHOPPING was for me.
Shoot me now.
Peace out home dogs. Urinate. Uoooorinate. Youtube: Fred
I think I will go to confession. This has got to stop.
Lord Help me please.
I'm done with all that shit. But I feel something, uneasiness, when I text Tanin. I feel like I'm getting caught off guard again and letting loose. Can't let that happen. Won't go shopping again. Gotta stop texting him. I'm on top of this, I won't get hurt again.
People use alcohol, drugs, cutting to relieve them of stress. It's all so typical. So is shopping. And I hate that this is what I'm using to 'escape'. Imma be broke yo.
Jogging & Work out @ 6am.
8am-whenever : HOMEWORK!!& work?(fuck that shit)
Ps. I rock avs better than her, things won't/ never did work out with us.
Ange
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