boys.boys.boys.

Well I'm not too bummed about not having a date for prom. The thing that just bugged me, is that other people are making too big of a deal about it. Shout out to my homies from Killarney Sec. but, JUST BECAUSE I DONT HAVE ADATE DOESN'T MEAN THAT Y'ALL HAVE TO PITY ME AND ASK ME TO MY PROM. I really appreciate it. It's just that so many things are happening right now, that I don't have time for that stuff. To be honest, there was one person in my mind that I wanted to ask me to prom, but I won't name that guy here. It's kind of impossible.

I don't want to tell stories in this stupid blog, coz I know people follow it, and I get kind of self-conscious and scared of what people might think about me.

Yes. I'm one of those people who are shallow ,hypocritical, a total asshole, and cares about what people might think of me. It's scary out there, and I'm insecure.

I thought that maybe having a boyfriend, might get rid of those insecurities and help me be more open about heavy AND sad feelings that no one else knows about. It didn't work. And I feel even worse, because I have the worse motives for attaining a 'significant other'.

I totally know that I can always talk to my friends. But Do I go to them for these kind of stuff? No. Only sometimes, when I start to "smell fishy" and they start asking questions.

Btw. I just love how my friends just know when something's up. Or if I'm just not in the mood. I'm pretty good at masking my feelings, my sadness, my anger. But not from them. It's weird, but it's good. I love them forever, and I would do anything for them. Might not be EVERYTHING, but I try my best. They're the ones that push me to be better at my worst, AND they're there when I AM at my worst. Shout out to the special people that DIDN'T make my life "a cake walk" and trust me, that's a good thing. You would not want to be with me when I'm bored. I'll just sleep. (sorry Alyssa Moreno LOL). I LOVE MY FRIENDS.who doesn't?

to do list/rant:

So in a few minutes, I'd be heading out to go to Surrey Central to get my CAVEMEN eyebrows done, then will be looking around for a hair parlor to do my hair. FUDGE. I hate last minutes stuff. But I seem only do last minute stuff. oh lord help me please.

Plus I have tons of hw, I can't possibly still be concerned about boyfriends/ potential boyfriends/ male acquaintances. I won't name names. But I hate it when guys just act like guys. I effing hate it.

I know the saying that girls are attracted to assholes, but not me. I get attracted to the nicest guys ever. Even if they're weird. Although I have liked/dated assholes before,

it's very likely that if you are nice to me, I'm

prone to like you, and once I get to know you better, I'm either going to be one of your most awesome-est friends or going to be someone crushing on you. Best part is, you don't have to worry about me getting hurt if you don't like me back, I might care just a little, but I'm cool,I can take hints and all. In addition, I don't confuse niceness. If you're nice, your nice. Period. I won't mistake it for something else. Only hopeful, desparate little girls do that. Not me. I don't need a boyfriend.

It's prom tomorrow. And I'm still kind of bummed that I don't have a date. However, I don't need a corsage to make my night memorable. I'd rather spend it with my girls/boys, who I truly think deserves me to be happy at one of the most exciting/stressful nights. I love y'alls. You know who you are.