okay, what the FUCK.

If that's the way you wanna roll, then fine. So much for communication and bullshit. If you really want to indirectly settle this over this stupid website, well I'll be. Just hope I don't HURT you enough that you really want to part. This has become really stupid and immature, it doesn't even make sense anymore. So here it is. I'M SORRY I BORROWED MONEY FROM YOU. I'M SORRY I NEVER EVER PAY ONLY YOU BACK, I'M SORRY THAT I ALWAYS HURT YOU, ENOUGH TO SAY ALL THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT ON THE INTERNET. I really thought you were bigger than this but I was wrong. You can say all that stuff you said, and give yourself a pat on the back, because I'm really going the wrong way with this. Sorry bun, this is how I'm interpreting it. You want me out of your life that much. I don't mean to use the "after all we've been through" drift, because it's the present that matters. And presently, and apparently, I'm the one putting that big dagger in your happy life. Well if that's all I really am to you, pain and angst. Then why don't you just leave me and end it. But let's just hope you have guts enough to actually face me and tell me why you're doing this. This I interpret to be, that me borrowing money from you it hurting you so much that it's unbearable. Well I'm too sure, that this wasn't the first time I borrowed money from you, and clearly it will be the last, but I'm too sure that I payed you back somehow too. Multiple times, sometimes I don't even ask you to pay me back or sometimes I'd just treat you, because I know I owe you way more. And now you really want to lose me as a friend for such a thing? Okay shows what I know right? Change your blogger, I don't want to read into your thoughts, because when I know it's about me, things change. And if you don't I won't be able to help but read. I'm still a bit confused, right now I'm really driven by anger, and like I said I'll only punch back, I didn't give the punch first, YOU DID my dear, and what a big punch that was. I wish I'd post up my previous drafts, maybe I would've put up a fight. But I lost already, and you sort of invited me to your little void. Right now, to stay in that void, is to feel like you for no reason. Maybe one reason, for borrowing money. I promise to never borrow from you. I'm sorry that I have a defective family that took your buspass, but to be quite honest, I flipped my house upside down, interrogated my family and made a fool out of myself. Not only that they don't trust me anymore, but I'm going to lose a friend who I thought was going to be there, and even with the pain inflicted on me, I'm still here with open arms. Other friends said that I shouldn't be like that. So I wrote this morbid, horrible blog, to let you in on what I'm feeling and maybe you can get a sense that I don't like losing friends for no good fucking reasons. I guess the good times, or the times that counted never really meant anything, I mean people change, and that's an inevitable fact, real friends accept them, even if it means hurting.