Amuse, whoosh!: everyone is deserving, even me.

Yes. Even I deserve the awards that I received tonight at our annual Athletic Banquet. Maybe it was because Linda turned her back at me when I said, "oh most inspirational, that sucks, that's just another way to say 2nd place", but then I relfected back at it and Linda said it as well, I shouldn't have just gotten the award then, at least it's better than nothing; if my attitude is like this, this award should have just been given to someone who wants it. Rugby is very important to me. I gave up badminton for it, track and field and ultimate. And being awarded the most inspirational, thinking back at it, is such a great honour. Maybe because I wanted to be the best, and I always try my best. I just don't like the fact that I never come close to what I want, but is totally blind to the greatness that was just given to me. For volleyball, which I loved so much as well and gotten MVP for 3 years, I didn't get anything for it, if I put myself in Kim's shoes, and she says oh I thought I shoulda gotten MVP, well I would rather get 2nd to Katy than get nothing. When the tables are turned and when the wind is against you now, it's hard, it hurts. I took it so personally, but all I could do is clap and smile, because I'm so happy for them. Everyone is deserving. Everyone who received the award they got is deserving, and even if being on the envious end , the award winners are deserving. You didn't pull short, but you were just almost there, try again next time.

Believe it or not, even if one's at the end of their high school career, there will be a next time. Only this time, it will not be provided for you, it won't be spoon fed to you. It will be all hard work and reality. You must look for it not only by yourself, but also within yourself. You gotta find the drive to fullfill anything in life. You can only rely on you.